My Engineering Joke of The Day

Joke of the day


Japan had invented a machine that catches thieves; 

they took it out to different countries for a test. 

In US, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves; 

UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves; 

Spain, in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves; 

Ghana, in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves; 

Uganda in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves; 

Nigeria, in 5 minutes the machine was stolen. 

 I thought I told you not to laugh! 

If you laughed then share it. 

 ** how are doing my engineers??*


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Engineering Jokes

Funny Joke Of The Day


Two civil engineers were coming back from work.
During there conversation, Engineer David and his friend Engineer John started arguing about their sons stupidity. Engineer David argued that his son was more foolish than John's son.
Engineer John however disagreed, so they decided to put their sons to test.
Engineer David called his son as they reached home and asked him to buy something for him at the market.

The boy ran-out without even asking for what to buy and money.
Engineer David said, "you see how foolish he is? he didn't even ask for what to buy or money". Engineer John retorted, is this what you call foolishness? just wait and see.

He calls his son Felix and said "go home and check if i am in the house".
Felix took to his heels and came back panting, "papa you no dey house. Mama say you dey your friend place".

 My Engineers, Who is more foolish....? 





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Concrete Consistency (Slump) Test BS EN12350-2

The SLUMP test shows the workability of concrete. Workability measures how easy the concrete is to place, handle and compact.
Or slump test is a measure of the consistency of the concrete. The consistency therefore is a measure of the water content of the concrete. The water content controls and affects the cement content of the concrete. Since the slump test is important, do not substitute a guess for an actual test.

The slump test is done to make sure a concrete mix is workable.
The measured slump must be within a set range, or tolerance, from the target slump.

 The first step is to take a test sample from the large batch of concrete. This
should be done as soon as discharge of the concrete commences. The sample should be
representative of the concrete supplied.              


Equipment for slump Test


·        Buckets or wheelbarrow
·        Damp cloth
·        Mixing tray
·        Sampling and testing certificates
·        Sampling scoop
·        Standard Slump cone and rigid metal plate (100 mm top diameter x 200 mm bottom diameter x 300 mm high)
·        Slump rod
·        Small scoop
·        Square-mouthed shovel
·        Steel rule

 Slump test procedure


Step 1
• Empty the sampling buckets onto the mixing tray
• Scrape each bucket clean

Step 2
• Thoroughly remix the sample,
shovelling into a heap
• Turn the heap over to form
another
• Do this three times

Step 3
• Flatten the final
heap by repeatedly
digging-in the
shovel vertically
• Lift the shovel
clear each time

Step 4
• Ensure the slump cone and base
plate are clean and damp
• Place the metal plate on solid
level base away from vibration or
other disturbance
• Place the cone on the plate and
stand on the foot-pieces

Step 5
• Fill the cone in three equal depth
layers
• Use the standard
slump rod
• Rod each layer
25 times
• Spread the blows
evenly
• Heap the
concrete above the
top of the cone before rodding the
third layer over the area
• Make sure the rod just penetrates
the layer below

Step 6
• Top up if necessary

• Use the rod
with a sawing
and rolling
motion to strike
the concrete
level with the
top of the cone

Step 7
• Carefully clean off spillage
from sides and base plate whilst
maintaining foot pressure


Step 8
• Carefully lift
the cone straight
up and clear, to a
count of between
2 and 5 seconds

Step 9

• Lay the rod
across the
upturned slump
cone
• Measure
the distance
between the
underside of
the rod and the highest point of the
concrete – the true slump
• Record the distance to the
nearest 10mm
• Check and record the kind of
slump
• If the slump isn’t true, take a
new sample and repeat the test
• If the second slump isn’t true,
get advice
• Complete the sampling and
testing certificates

There are three kinds of slump

  • True
  • Shear
  • Collapse








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Advantages and disadvantages of chlorination [PPT] Free Download

Advantages and disadvantages of chlorination [PPT] Free Download

Advantages and disadvantages of chlorination [PPT] is a simple presentation that explains briefly about the purification of water by chlorination. There are many advantages as well as some disadvantages of the process of chlorination and the same is discussed in this presentation.

Some of the Advantages Of chlorination include;

  • 1.      Reliable source, kills almost all gastrointestinal bacteria.
  • 2.      Chlorine is cheap leads to purification process economical.

And many more, just download the presentation to get the ppt.


Advantages and disadvantages of chlorination [PPT] Free Download





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Applying For Direct Student Loan Consolidation

For my engineering student wishing to consolidate or refinance their student loan to further their education, but doesn't know how to apply for loan.
Consolidation is like refinancing a loan. You can consolidate all, simply some, or even only one of your student loans. Consolidating federal student loans may be a decent system to lower regularly scheduled installments or to escape from default, yet it is not generally a smart thought.

what is student loan consolidation?


APPLYING FOR DIRECT STUDENT LOAN CONSOLIDATION

All borrowers should now seek Direct loan consolidation utilizing thestudentloans.gov site. (Click espanol to discover a Spanish adaptation of the on-line application). The Department unequivocally urges borrowers to apply on-line, however you might likewise download and print a paper application to submit by customary mail. The Department says it will keep on living up to expectations with borrowers whose applications were submitted before the new framework became effective. Borrowers with inquiries preceding consolidating ought to have the capacity to get help by calling 1-800-557-7392. You can likewise have a go at calling the general Student loan Support Center at 1-800-557-7394. Subsequent to presenting an application, borrowers ought to contact the servicer they chose with any inquiries.

Utilizing StudentLoans.gov:  You will need to sign in utilizing your own identifiers and PIN. The electronic application comprises of five stages:

1. Pick Loans and servicer. (You must select a servicer. You have four diverse "Consolidation servicers":  FedLoan Servicing (PHEAA), Great Lakes, Nelnet and Sallie Mae (now called Navient).


In the event that may settle on this decision on-line or in the event that you are sending in a paper application, you ought to send specifically to the servicer you pick.



Current as of April 2015

2.  Repayment Plan Selection3.  Terms and Conditions4.  Borrower and Reference Information, and5.  Review and Sign.


You will get a rundown sheet after you apply. It is essential to survey this sheet and check to verify the greater part of the loans you needed to combine are incorporated in the new consolidation loan. Make certain to meet the due date for reacting on the off chance that you think there are issues with the consolidation or in the event that you have chosen you would prefer not to go ahead.

You may like to read 10 Questions to Ask Before Students Loan Consolidation 




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Download CSi Bridge

Download CSi Bridge


Download CSI Bridge 2014

What is CSi Bridge?


CSi Bridge is Computer Aid Design Software for structural engineers for modeling analysis and design of bridge structures, very handy and versatile tool that can perform all the tasks of bridge designing with ease.
Csi Bridge can perform modeling analysis and design of bridge structures by just few clicks with such a short amount of time.
Csi bridge has all the necessary parameters that are being employed in the design of bridges by structural engineers are incorporated in CSI Bridge like spans, piers, hinges, post tensioning, abutments, bridge deck, pre tensioning. There are rooms for you in csi bridge to define your parameters for a complex bridge geometry as well.

Csi bridge is admirable in modeling, as the 21st century computing and modeling provides you with three basic types of bridge models spine, shell, or if you want a 3d model that is near to nature CSI Bridge is equal to the task. 

Most importantly, CSI Bridge can handle Structural materials for both Steel and Concrete with ease. One of a very significant feature of CSI Bridge is that it provides simple and practical Gantt Charts for making it easy for you to develop work breakdown structure and doing sequencing and scheduling of the project.
Since Introduction of computing in the design of structures have revolutionized, the designing process and accuracy in the results and consequently safety and economy as an ultimate goal has been achieved. It also has a step by step checks and measures which minimizes the error and chances of failure

CSI Bridge employs all the parameters like you can define the no of lanes, lane width and you can also test it by any type of vehicular load one can have on the site. The GUI or Graphical User Interface of CSI Bridge is user friendly to a very large extent it contains menus buttons everything available on your screen moreover it contains a design wizard that will take you all of the design steps and parameters necessary for the bridge design. 

This computer aid design software is completely integrated with other CSI packages like SAP, Safe, and SAPFire.

Download CSi Bridge

I am sharing with you a very useful link from where you can download csi bridge for free, a full latest version of CSI Bridge

Click on this link to download csi bridge

 CSiBridgeV15.20 StandAlone(Version V.2)

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Download Strap Footing Design PDF

Strap Footing Design


Introduction: 
A strap footing is a component of a building’s foundation. strap footing is a type of combined footing, consisting of two or more column footings connected by a concrete beam.
 
Combined footings and strap footings are normal used when one of columns is subjected to large eccentric loadings. 

When two columns are reasonably close, a combined footing is designed for both columns.
When two columns are far apart, a strap is designed to transfer eccentric moment between two columns. 
The goal is to have uniform bearing pressure and to minimize differential settlement
between columns.

This ebook will teach you, all you need to know on strap footing design




Attached Files for Direct Download
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 Foundation Engineering Ebook Download

Foundation Engineering Ebook Download

 Foundation Engineering Ebook Download

Foundation Engineering Ebook free download for seminars

Abstract : Displacement borings

This book on  Foundation Engineering combined method of sampling & boring operation. Closed bottom sampler, slit cup, or piston type is forced in to the ground up to the desired depth. 

Then the sampler is detached from soil below it, by rotating the piston, & finally the piston is released or withdrawn. 

The sampler is then again forced further down & sample is taken. After withdrawal of sampler & removal of sample from sampler, the sampler is kept in closed condition & again used for another depth.


You May Download  Foundation Engineering Ebook 




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Structural Analysis Lecture Note

Structural Analysis Lecture Note


Structural Analysis Lecture Note


This structural analysis pdf is a lecture notes, presentations covering full semester syllabus for university students, covering full semester syllabus on the following topics in structure

Contents

  1. Energy Methods in Structural Analysis
  2. Analysis of statically indeterminate structures by the matrix force method
  3. Analysis of statically indeterminate structures by displacement method
  4. Analysis of statically indeterminate structures by direct stiffness method
  5. Cables and Arches
  6. Approximate methods for indeterminate structural analysis
  7. Influence Lines






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 Structural Analysis Book - pdf download

Structural Analysis Book - pdf download


Structural Analysis Book Download


Structural Analysis ebook is intended to provide the student with a clear and thorough lecture of the theory and application of analysis of structure as it applies to trusses
Units covered in this structural analysis ebook & notes.


CONTENTS


  1. UNIT I DEFLECTION OF DETERMINATE STRUCTURES
  2. UNIT II MOVING LOADS AND INFLUENCE LINES 9 (DETERMINATE & INDETERMINATE STRUCTURES)
  3. UNIT III ARCHES
  4. UNIT IV SLOPE DEFLECTION METHOD
  5. UNIT V MOMENT DISTRIBUTION METHOD



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6039
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Estimating and Tendering for Construction Work Book [Free Download]

Estimating and Tendering for Construction Work Book [free downlad]



Estimating and Tendering for Construction Work Book gives you a practical approach to the estimating of any work, then preparation of tender documents and all other works in briefly.



You can download Estimating and Tendering for Construction Work Book,


 Just click 

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